Vanilla Drafttag:vanilladraft.com,2008-08-26://12010-06-25T17:36:19ZMark Benson lives in Minneapolis and is looking for answers in ordinary and otherwise unremarkable experiences. More detail is available in the Preface.Vanilla DraftFour-Hour Meetingtag:vanilladraft.com,2010://1.13942010-06-25T17:34:41Z2010-06-25T17:36:19ZFour-hour meetings like this tempt me to ram hot sticks in my ears and poke my eyes out with squared toothpicks soaked in rooster sauce....MDBhttp://vanilladraft.com/
Four-hour meetings like this tempt me to ram hot sticks in my ears and poke my eyes out with squared toothpicks soaked in rooster sauce.
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/vanilladraft/~4/Ebzw1_kT1X0" height="1" width="1"/>http://vanilladraft.com/2010/06/25/four-hour-meeting/Magic Midget Hoteltag:vanilladraft.com,2010://1.13932010-04-19T23:40:36Z2010-04-20T23:43:28ZThe bath in this magic little hotel must have been made for midgets. My head hits the ceiling and my sternum dominates the shower nozzle....MDBhttp://vanilladraft.com/
The bath in this magic little hotel must have been made for midgets. My head hits the ceiling and my sternum dominates the shower nozzle.
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/vanilladraft/~4/K04bv483Wl8" height="1" width="1"/>http://vanilladraft.com/2010/04/19/magic-midget-hotel/Minneapolis Passport Agencytag:vanilladraft.com,2010://1.13922010-04-08T23:53:52Z2010-04-13T23:55:45ZOverheard at the Mpls Passport Agency: "Sir, we don't allow large knives in this building. Also, you'll have to give me those scissors."...MDBhttp://vanilladraft.com/
Overheard at the Mpls Passport Agency: "Sir, we don't allow large knives in this building. Also, you'll have to give me those scissors."
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/vanilladraft/~4/-NY2igRS4a8" height="1" width="1"/>http://vanilladraft.com/2010/04/08/minneapolis-passport-agency/Emergency #2tag:vanilladraft.com,2010://1.13912010-02-16T16:36:05Z2010-02-16T16:38:04ZJust saw a poor soul stop their car abruptly mid-road, drop their trousers, and take an emergency #2. And I thought I was having a bad day....MDBhttp://vanilladraft.com/
<p>Just saw a poor soul stop their car abruptly mid-road, drop their trousers, and take an emergency #2. And I thought I was having a bad day.</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/vanilladraft/~4/iiofGCQ0hNU" height="1" width="1"/>http://vanilladraft.com/2010/02/16/emergency-2/Nastiest Place On The Planettag:vanilladraft.com,2009://1.13902009-12-08T22:50:16Z2009-12-08T22:52:19ZIf you were to say there does not exist a nastier place on the planet than the holes of a bowling ball, I would have no choice but to agree....MDBhttp://vanilladraft.com/
<p>If you were to say there does not exist a nastier place on the planet than the holes of a bowling ball, I would have no choice but to agree.</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/vanilladraft/~4/N9xxWoeNPXQ" height="1" width="1"/>http://vanilladraft.com/2009/12/08/nastiest-place-on-the-planet/Mustache Detectiontag:vanilladraft.com,2009://1.13892009-11-10T17:08:05Z2009-11-12T15:45:53ZI can't explain it, but I somehow have the ability to detect if a person has a mustache from looking at the back of their head. Today: 5/5....MDBhttp://vanilladraft.com/
<p>I can't explain it, but I somehow have the ability to detect if a person has a mustache from looking at the back of their head. Today: 5/5.</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/vanilladraft/~4/Z2U3Y4fZvqs" height="1" width="1"/>http://vanilladraft.com/2009/11/10/mustache-detection/Homeslicetag:vanilladraft.com,2009://1.13882009-10-27T18:08:33Z2009-10-27T18:09:35ZLast night, I dreamed my nickname at work was The Pimp, but politely asked my co-workers to honor my wishes and instead call me Homeslice....MDBhttp://vanilladraft.com/
<p>Last night, I dreamed my nickname at work was The Pimp, but politely asked my co-workers to honor my wishes and instead call me Homeslice.</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/vanilladraft/~4/mdbNgmw1Knc" height="1" width="1"/>http://vanilladraft.com/2009/10/27/homeslice/Pajama Timetag:vanilladraft.com,2009://1.13872009-10-23T02:14:40Z2009-10-23T02:16:08ZLately, I've been fine-tuning my be-bop skillz while putting NWB to sleep to the tune of Pajama Time by Sandra Boynton. Bomp, chicka chicka....MDBhttp://vanilladraft.com/
<p>Lately, I've been fine-tuning my be-bop skillz while putting NWB to sleep to the tune of Pajama Time by Sandra Boynton. Bomp, chicka chicka.</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/vanilladraft/~4/E1kXlhl_86k" height="1" width="1"/>http://vanilladraft.com/2009/10/22/pajama-time/Rodent Guillotinetag:vanilladraft.com,2009://1.13862009-10-09T04:34:00Z2009-10-20T14:37:33ZI'm becoming concerned about the clear contradiction between my pacifist nonviolent ideology and my beloved DIY rodent guillotine....MDBhttp://vanilladraft.com/
<p>I'm becoming concerned about the clear contradiction between my pacifist nonviolent ideology and my beloved DIY rodent guillotine.</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/vanilladraft/~4/NWPln6BvB8I" height="1" width="1"/>http://vanilladraft.com/2009/10/08/rodent-guillotine/Backup Cigarette Moneytag:vanilladraft.com,2009://1.13852009-08-19T21:50:00Z2009-10-17T01:21:20ZOn my way to LAX. Overheard in Minneapolis at gate G14: "Who stole my damn backup cigarette money?"....MDBhttp://vanilladraft.com/
<p>On my way to LAX. Overheard in Minneapolis at gate G14: "Who stole my damn backup cigarette money?".</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/vanilladraft/~4/sSHNZh0kPKo" height="1" width="1"/>http://vanilladraft.com/2009/08/19/backup-cigarette-money/Curling Ironstag:vanilladraft.com,2009://1.13842009-07-25T21:47:00Z2009-10-17T01:19:42ZCamping in WI. The men's bathroom only allows one curling iron at a time. How often do men use curling irons, let alone bring them camping?...MDBhttp://vanilladraft.com/
<p>Camping in WI. The men's bathroom only allows one curling iron at a time. How often do men use curling irons, let alone bring them camping?</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/vanilladraft/~4/lW-xqoiOjlY" height="1" width="1"/>http://vanilladraft.com/2009/07/25/curling-irons/Garden Mattocktag:vanilladraft.com,2009://1.13832009-07-13T01:26:00Z2009-10-17T01:18:14ZSpent most of the weekend chopping down a forest of sapling crabapple trees. Getting medieval with a garden mattock is strangely cathartic....MDBhttp://vanilladraft.com/
<p>Spent most of the weekend chopping down a forest of sapling crabapple trees. Getting medieval with a garden mattock is strangely cathartic.</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/vanilladraft/~4/UA6ph3dRC9Y" height="1" width="1"/>http://vanilladraft.com/2009/07/12/garden-mattock/Dandelion Policetag:vanilladraft.com,2009://1.13822009-05-26T14:47:00Z2009-10-17T01:16:38ZOur neighbor just slyly offered to dial the weed-control company on our behalf. Who do they think they are, the dandelion police?...MDBhttp://vanilladraft.com/
<p>Our neighbor just slyly offered to dial the weed-control company on our behalf. Who do they think they are, the dandelion police?</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/vanilladraft/~4/XM-xVBy4KCo" height="1" width="1"/>http://vanilladraft.com/2009/05/26/dandelion-police/Fruit Rolluptag:vanilladraft.com,2009://1.13812009-05-19T05:51:00Z2009-10-17T01:14:42ZRemembering the lonely Fruit Rollup floating in the green biffie I patronized today. What sort of barbarian goes around discarding snacks?...MDBhttp://vanilladraft.com/
<p>Remembering the lonely Fruit Rollup floating in the green biffie I patronized today. What sort of barbarian goes around discarding snacks?</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/vanilladraft/~4/dDobCbHfjpY" height="1" width="1"/>http://vanilladraft.com/2009/05/19/fruit-rollup/Talon Managementtag:vanilladraft.com,2009://1.13802009-04-08T23:47:00Z2009-10-17T01:13:29ZOur household now has an official term for toenail trimming: Talon Management. For some reason, this is absolutely hilarious to me....MDBhttp://vanilladraft.com/
<p>Our household now has an official term for toenail trimming: Talon Management. For some reason, this is absolutely hilarious to me.</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/vanilladraft/~4/ohZsDiG_5zM" height="1" width="1"/>http://vanilladraft.com/2009/04/08/talon-management/